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The Universe Is Working Against Your Portfolio

Hey, far be it from me to scoff at a money-making venture. .. so long as it makes money. But I find it awfully hard to believe that astrology and investing have anything to do with each other.

That’s probably because I don’t take advice from the horoscopes column.

Of course, the flip side of that is that every time I get a fortune cookie, I get mad at the little piece of paper with a vapid platitude about hard work or happiness instead of a true prediction. Tell me I’m gonna get struck by lightning, tell me I’m gonna win the lotto, tell me anything beyond “Life is a journey, not a destination.”

That’s not a fortune — that’s an inspirational poster!

I digress …

Anyhow, Heidi Moore over at Marketplace has a great take on astrology and investing. She did an excellent job of presenting it even-handedly instead of as quackery … but you be the judge. Here’s an excerpt to wet your whistle:

“(Arch Crawford, a financial astrologer) warns his 2,000 subscribers particularly against the dangers of Mercury in retrograde, a time when the planet appears to be going in reverse across the sky. The phenomenon, which happens three times or more a year, indicates a month when communications will be screwed up. He warns his subscribers never to start anything new during that time. He points to the fact that Knight Capital launched a new software program in August, when Mercury was in retrograde, and the brokerage firm nearly went out of business. He also notes that most major market glitches have happened while Mercury was in retrograde.

Coincidence? Most people would say yes. Financial astrologers don’t say they have all the answers. They say instead that they see a range of possibilities. Human action can change them. As Shakespeare once wrote, ‘The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in our stars, but in ourselves.'”

Please click through to the full story because it’s quite interesting and a great piece. But no giggling, please.

After all, Hulbert Financial Digest ranked Crawford the No. 1 market timer from Oct. 1, 2007, to Oct. 31, 2009, according to his website. And anyone who saw the star-crossed mess of the financial crisis ahead of time deserves a little respect.

Further reading:

Jeff Reeves is the editor of and the author of “The Frugal Investor’s Guide to Finding Great Stocks.” Write him at or follow him on Twitter via@JeffReevesIP.

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